Healing from the Heart
It started a few years prior when overnight I went from living like I needed to do it all, to being immobilized by herniated discs in my neck and not able to do much of anything.
It started a few years prior when overnight I went from living like I needed to do it all, to being immobilized by herniated discs in my neck and not able to do much of anything.
At that time, I went to the usual doctors looking for a pill or shot to give me a quick fix so I could get back to my high-speed way of life. But there was no quick fix to be found. According to doctors, healing was possible, but it would be slow. In that realization, I found myself sitting alone in my bedroom chair praying and crying out to God. I felt ashamed, lost, insecure and unimportant. He met me that day in the chair. In a very peaceful and assuring voice He let me know that the way I was living was not His way. I lived everyday striving for perfection. Striving to do all I could to look like the perfect Christian mom, wife, neighbor and church member. I was striving to look perfect on the outside when the truth was, I was wounded and out of alignment on the inside.
That season can be summed up in one Bible verse.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
The problem wasn't the verse itself, but my emphasis on "I can". You see even though I knew the word of God since childhood, and had prayed to receive Jesus as my Savior, my heart believed a deep lie. I believed the lie that "I have to perform perfectly to be loved". As a result, when I read this verse, it was filtered through my agreement with the lie and carried out through the inner vows "I have to do it all" and "I have to be perfect to be worthy of love".
From that day in the chair the Lord has been teaching me a new way to live. He has shown that we will do more for Him with less stress and anxiety when we live from the inside out, not the outside in; when we live grounded in His love, not driven by fear of man. We do this by receiving His perfect love for us and accepting the truth that Father God did not design you to be everything to everyone. He designed you uniquely for a specific purpose. It is living in alignment with Him and His design for you that will bring the greatest joy and health to your life and relationships.
This week is my 55th birthday. As I have been reflecting on key moments in my life the Lord brought me back to this season where the Lord interrupted my plans and healed me in a way I didn't know that I needed. He healed me from the inside out. He restored my heart into alignment with the truth of His word. I can do all He has called and designed me to do. But I do it through Christ, not my own strength.
The truth is "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
Consider your own heart. Ask the Lord, "Is there anything I believe in my heart that is not true about:
• Yourself.
-What do you believe about your own value and worth to God?
-What has God told you about who you are designed to be?
• God.
-We all know God loves the world and sent Jesus to die for us, but few really know personally the intimacy of relationship He desires.
-What do you believe you have to do to earn His love?
• Others.
-Do you feel you have to perform to be loved?
-Do feel you have to strive to earn your place?
Now is the time to receive healing from the heart. Let's seek the Lord to reveal hidden hurts and lies, so we can align with His heart and live out our purpose on this earth.
You are Loved!
Dana Grindal
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